Separation anxiety is a perfectly normal stage in a child’s development and can start anytime from at around 12 -20 months. Baby’s increased awareness causes her to realise that you may leave her at any time. This shows she has mastered skills such as recognising the difference between family and strangers, knowing how essential you are to her life and anticipating the feeling of loneliness that will follow from your departure. Unfortunately, she cannot comprehend that the departure is only temporary so it causes her great distress and panic to know that you might not return. Separation anxiety gradually diminishes as the child realises that you come back each time. However, during the condition, it obviously presents a large problem at bed-time.

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My personal view is that for the first six months, the safest place for baby to sleep is in a cot in the parents’ room. However, the purpose of this blog is to give parents all the necessary information for both sides of the argument and allow them to make an informed decision about what’s best for their family. Therefore, I will try to objectively weigh up the advantages and disadvantages of sharing a bed with your baby.

Advantages

Not only is it far more convenient for breast-feeding mothers but research has shown that babies and mothers sleep much better when they share a bed, with solo baby sleepers being shown to spend four times longer crying each night (McKenna, J., et al 1994). It has also been shown that bed sharing babies have more stable temperatures (C. Richard et al 1996), regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone (T. Field 1995). This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.

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There is great controversy regarding the best place for your new baby to sleep. I have examined a wealth of research and literature published on the subject and my opinion is that, in general, the safest place the baby can sleep (for the first six months) is in a cot in the parent’s room. My opinion is shared by The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID) who launched a nationwide campaign to try and get this message home. They have recently launched an attack on the Channel Four programme, “Bringing up the Baby” because someone on the show advised that the baby should have his own room from day one.

Research has proved that infants who sleep in their own room in the first six months are twice as likely to die from SIDS (formerly called cot death) than those who share their parents’ bedroom. (FSID’s Editorial Team, 2007). I strongly advise you therefore to have baby sleeping in your room for the first six months.

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When baby is at least six months of age and developing well, you can start reducing the night-time feeds as these are no longer essential to health and growth. 

If baby is used to a 1.00 am feeding, his stomach will hunger for food at that time every night. One of the best techniques for helping your baby to sleep through the night is to reset his ‘stomach clock.’ The aim is to reduce baby’s night time food intake without letting him go hungry. Regardless of the age of the baby, he will generally take in the same amount of calories per 24 hours. If you gradually reduce the night time feeding, baby will just eat more during the day to make it up. This is called calorie shifting.

If you have decided it’s the right time to start reducing the night-time feeds here’s what to do if you’re bottle feeding: Start by reducing the volume of milk or formula in the bottle by one or two ounces (30-60 mls) each feeding. You could start with just the bedtime feed and move onto the other night-time feeds or you could attempt them all at once. Keep reducing the volume of milk/formula by one ounce (30 mls) per night over the course of the next week, until there are no more feeds.

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After your baby reaches a certain age, you should begin to think about reducing the amount of night-time demands that you instantly rush to satisfy.

After reaching the four month mark, most babies are physically prepared to sleep through the entire night. They don’t really need middle of the night feeding anymore and most have acquired the ability to comfort themselves back to sleep if they do wake up. Therefore, if baby is still waking up frequently throughout the night it’s probably because you are still jumping out of bed at her first cry, to give her a feed and a cuddle. She’s learned that every time she cries, her favourite person and her favourite meal are by her side in seconds. Many babies are obviously not going to give this arrangement up too easily!

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• Milestones. Has he reached any developmental milestones recently, such as sitting, crawling, walking, talking, teething etc? These go hand in hand with a few sleepless nights I’m afraid! Teething problems can be strongly suspected by the appearance of a wet bed sheet under baby’s head, a drool rash on the cheeks and chin, swollen and tender gums, and a slight fever. Consult your doctor or pharmacist to find the right medication to ease the pain.

• Separation Anxiety. This deserves a post of its own.

• Temperature. Is he too hot or cold? Be careful not to overdress him and see the table at the end of this post for the right temperatures.

• Dressed for sleep. In the early months, many babies like to “sleep tight,” securely swaddled in a cotton baby blanket. Older infants like to sleep “loose,” and may sleep longer stretches with loose coverings that allow them more freedom of movement.

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Here are some common things to check when baby wakes during the night.   For information on how to help baby get to sleep please see the Baby Sleep Techniques section.

 
• Nappy. Does he need a change?

• Appetite. Does he genuinely need a feed? If so feed him. (Depending on what developmental stage he’s at, this may be merely an attention-seeking tactic).

• Clothing. Check his clothes for areas that may be causing discomfort- tags, button etc. Are the clothes 100 % cotton? If not, he may be sensitive or allergic to the synthetic fibres.

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This post describes the tried and tested tricks that parents use to help baby drop off to sleep. Some can be incorporated into your nightly pre-bed ritual but some should be kept for emergencies. Experiment and see which work for you.

• Nursing.  During the fist year it’s very normal and developmentally appropriate for babies to be nursed to sleep. Breast feed or bottle feed her until she drifts off naturally.

• Swaddling. This is a traditional technique for making a baby feel secure.  To swaddle your baby, spread a cotton cot sheet out flat, with one corner folded over a little. Lay your baby face up on the sheet with her neck resting against the fold. Wrap the left corner of the sheet over her body and tuck it beneath her. Bring the bottom corner over her feet, and then wrap the right corner around her, leaving only her head and neck exposed. Don’t cover your baby’s face with the sheet, since that could cause her to overheat or suffocate. Beware of overheating your baby; the aim is to make her feel secure rather than to keep her warm. Avoid using a blanket for this and make sure you don’t wrap your baby too tightly, or his circulation could be impaired.

Swaddling creates a slight pressure around your baby’s body that gives most newborns a sense of security because it mirrors the pressure they would have felt in the uterus. For some babies it becomes the trigger for sleep, but it can irritate others. You should stop swaddling your baby once she is about a month old because after that it can interfere with mobility and development. When your baby begins to kick off the covers, it’s a sign she no longer appreciates being bundled snugly (Bates et.al.. 2007).

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Nap times are essential for babies.  You may use the same techniques for helping baby nap as you learned for night-sleeping. Here are some additional tips:

-Without disrupting your life too much, try and plan nap times for roughly the same time each day. Obviously, this won’t be practical for some parents but if you can manage it then the rewards will be well worth it. Not only will it make nap times easier but babies will sleep better at night time as well.

-For newborn babies, sleeping habits are closely linked with eating patterns.  You might want to consider keeping baby awake for a short time after each daytime feed.  This will stop baby getting into the habit of needing a feed to get to sleep.  Don’t leave it too long however or baby may get over-stimulated and possibly even hungry again and won’t be able to nap which will make him irritable and fussy.   You should plan nap times for about half an hour after lunch or a snack to aid sleeping habits.

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Babies learn best through routine and this is the age when baby is ready to get into the habit of eating and sleeping according to a fairly consistent timetable. The best way to accomplish the challenge of getting your baby to go to bed at a regular time is to follow a well organised day with a consistent bedtime routine. A bedtime routine can include all or some of the following: bath, feed, story, massage, cuddle, lullaby. It culminates with the baby in her place for sleep on her own or with you. A little trial and error is needed to see which techniques relax your baby. In time you will develop a unique bedtime ritual of your own but you should follow this advice:

• Set a bedtime and try and keep it as consistent as possible. Bedtimes can vary from as early as 7pm to as late as 9pm. Your lifestyle and work commitments may determine this for you. The important factor is consistency. Don’t set a late bedtime thinking baby will get exhausted and sleep right through. This is bad news and usually doesn’t work. She’s far more likely just to get overtired.

• Try and make the elements of the routine come in the same order: babies love predictability and will be much calmer if there are no surprises.

• Also try and make sure it’s practical. There’s not much point in having a routine that’s easy to follow at times and difficult at others.

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New Premium Packaging for all Lullaby Babies Products

We have been working with Science City York and Inchpunch Design of North Yorkshire to revamp our product packaging.  We are delighted with the results and we believe the new products will offer even greater durability and value for money.  All personalised lullabies will shortly be available in collectable CD tins.  These will replace the DVD boxes which represent the current packaging solution.

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Your baby is incredibly adaptable and can learn effectively through association. He will start to associate the process of falling asleep with the things that he has been used to experiencing immediately prior to bed-time. By making these things consistent and predictable, their very presence will signify to your baby that it’s time to sleep. For example, playing the same lullaby cd just before bedtime will help baby to associate the music with the process of falling asleep. In time, baby will fall asleep much more quickly each time he hears the music and makes the association. This is a great comforter during the dreaded night-wakings. See the post on Lullabies and Babies for more information.

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Twinkle Twinkle Sample

Parents have long been aware of the soothing effects that lullabies can have on babies. However, research has been conducted that has not only proved this scientifically but has also shown the range of positive physical and psychological advantages that lullabies can have on babies. One study that was published in the International Journal of Arts Medicine showed that playing lullabies to babies can reduce their heart rates, increase oxygen saturation and reduce stress behaviours.

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