Fingers crossed if she wakes up tonight it will be easier, other half is home and is going to help.

Bandhura, thank you for your comment too, def will keep up with the posts. If my posts at least help one other mum then I’ll think it is worth it. Not only that it helps me get out what has happened that night and to see if i’m going wrong or doing something right.

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It is not at all selfish that you want a good night’s sleep. If you don’t start taking action you could become so exhausted that it affects your health and general well-being. Happy, healthy babies need happy, healthy parents so you should keep reminding yourself that ultimately you are doing this for your daughter. Furthermore, you’d be amazed at how many parents say the same things as you on the first few nights with the technique. I can honestly say that in my experience, the majority of parents who stick with it report back that not only was it effective in helping baby sleep through the night but also that their baby is now much happier, rested and calmer during the day time. So when your daughter is crying out tonight and you start to get really upset as well, say to yourself, “I’m doing this for her.”

Some important points to remember: 1) Make sure you’re putting baby to sleep when she is still awake (Ferber claims this is absolutely essential). 2) Try not to pick her up or this will reduce the effectiveness of the technique (and yes, unfortunately I believe this includes ’swooping!’) 3) Once she has been crying for half an hour try to increase your response time to 15-20 mins. Follow the ‘leave after two minutes rule’ and keep checking every 15-20 mins until she is asleep. Upon the next waking start again at a 5-10 minute checking interval and gradually increase to 15-20 again. 4) On your second/third night with the technique you should try and leave out the comforting hand and soothing voice so she really has to learn to comfort herself back to sleep. 5) Every baby is so different and so you should try not to let it bother you that your friends’ babies are sleeping through already. I know it’s easier said than done but there are always going to be people in a sickeningly simpler position but likewise there will be thousands of parents who are in a much worse position than you in terms of night-time parenting.

Finally, I just want to say that no reasonable person would ever think it was your own fault for pampering her as a newborn. You should never feel guilty about the level of love, care and attention you have obviously given your daughter in the first year of her life. And now the time has come for change you are clearly prepared to do what is necessary for your daughter’s and your own long-term well being. Personally, I think you sound like a great mother and I really hope your daughter learns to soothe herself to sleep as quickly as possible.