Controlled Crying - Naptimes and Cosleeping
We have covered the ‘Ferber Method’ in some detail in previous posts. However, following a recent comment on the site I thought an extra post was needed to discuss how nap times and co-sleeping fit in with the technique.
In terms of nap-times, you should follow exactly the same procedure as you do during the night (I’m not going to repeat myself by writing out the procedure again because you can read it here.) As Zoe rightly pointed out, if you didn’t follow the same technique during the daytime naps you would confuse your baby by sending her ‘mixed messages.’
As for cosleeping, the Ferber Method relies on your baby sleeping in a cot in her own room. Obviously, this is an either/or situation. If you are happy with your co-sleeping arrangement then the Ferber method is not for you. In Zoe’s comment she asked whether she could incorporate the Ferber method into her current co-sleeping arrangement by leaving the room each time her baby wakes up crying. I personally don’t think this would work and I strongly recommend it shouldn’t even be attempted. The crucial point of the Ferber Method is to teach babies to soothe themselves to sleep. This means them waking up alone and being able to comfort themselves back to sleep without screaming out for mum or dad. If you attempted controlled crying whilst co-sleeping your baby would not be waking up alone and the first thing she would see was her mum leaving the room. Furthermore, when it came to her making the transition to her own room it would probably mean starting again from square one.
When you decide it is the right time to make the transition to your baby having her own room then I would advise you leave the Ferber Method well alone until your baby gets used the change. Moving surroundings will be a stressful enough time without adding to the trouble. I will write a separate post soon to discuss how you can make the transition as easy as possible for both of you. Just off the top of my head, I like the idea of having a crib in the same room at first and getting baby used to sleeping in there. You could then gradually move this further away from your bed before you make the jump to a different room. I also think it would be wise to start using the crib for nap times and moving this into baby’s own room. This will make the night-time change a little more familiar and easier to deal with. Personally, I think it needs to be a very gradual change to minimise the distress. Once your baby has got used to this arrangement, if needed, you can start implementing the Ferber technique.
Tags: Controlled Crying, cosleeping, nap times, naptimes
December 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
You might be interested in the writing of Dr. Marc Weissbluth. From his research he believes that daytime sleep and nighttime sleep are organised by different parts of the brain so having different daytime and nighttime soothing routines does not matter as different parts of the brain are learning.
He also believes that night sleep organises before day sleep. My baby followed this pattern. She is 4 months and can settle herself back to sleep at night after her feeds - no crying though she does sometimes burble away to her cot animals - who knows what secrets she is telling them. In the day she cannot soothe herself yet.
January 5th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Hi,
4 months and she can settle herself back to sleep after her feeds- now that’s impressive!
I hope you decide to share your experiences with this technique as I’m sure there will be many new parents reading your comment with envious (and tired) eyes!
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April 15th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
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April 23rd, 2009 at 5:39 pm
This must be the main reason that the ferber method isnt working for me! We are living with my husbands parents and the ONLY option for our sleep arrangement is with the baby in the crib in our room. I have tried letting her cry SO many times I cant even count anymore! Sometimes I think it is beginning to work but then the next night she is back to an hour + of crying. Do you have any suggestions for someone in my situation where there is no other sleeping option? She is waking up every hour at night and I cant take it anymore.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Hi Lacey
If she is waking every hour and crying for such long periods then I recommend you see your paediatrician about this just to be on the safe side.
You should stop the Ferber immediately because it is not meant for babies sharing a room. It is probable that she is going through some developmental milestones that are causing the disruption in sleep but as I say, go and see your doctor just to be sure.
This blog is for providing general, impartial information and without knowing the ins and outs of your situation we can’t provide the level of specific information you require.