Personalized Lullabies



Posts Tagged ‘Controlled Crying’

Sleeping through the Night – tips and techniques

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
sleeping-through-the-night-tips-and-techniques

Most paediatricians agree that ‘Sleeping through the Night’ actually means your baby sleeps for 6 or more hours in one stretch (5 hours for newborns).  It’s important you realise this fact or you might set unrealistic goals.

So how do you achieve this elusive ‘Sleeping through the Night’ status?  Well obviously every baby is different and so the first thing you should do is make a conscious effort not to draw comparisons with your friends’ babies. . especially the friends who just can’t wait to tell you their baby is the perfect sleeper (as if it’s a sign of good parenting!)  Once your baby has learnt to sleep through the night, in turn, keep the bragging to a minimum for the sanity of those friends whose babies havent quite got there yet!  

So how can you help attain the 6 hours + sleep a night?

Here are a few of the best and most popular tips.   Try them and see what works for you and what doesn’t.  If in doubt, use your own judgement as the parent and pay attention to how you feel about each of the tips.  If you’re doing something that deep down you feel is wrong, then don’t do it.  The classic argument against this would be Controlled Crying where every parent feels ‘wrong’ leaving their baby to cry and yet in some cases, it can be a hugely beneficial technique to teach the baby to comfort himself to sleep.  What I’d say in response to this argument is that in these cases, even though the parents ‘voice in the head’ will undoubtedly be telling them that what they’re doing is not right, CC is often a very last resort when all other methods have failed and I bet that on some level, the majority of parents realise that what they are doing is ultimately for the benefit of their child.  If they didn’t realise this then I don’t believe they’d try CC at all.  So I stand by my advice to pay attention to your feelings primarily.  The mind is a great tool for researching the various techniques so you can make informed decisions but it cannot tell you the whole picture (even though it thinks it can!) 

Remember people have been raising babies for thousands of years without books, sleep experts or paediatricians and although science and research is hugely important in educating ourselves about the advantages and disadvantages of the various parenting styles, you should rest assured that you have an ingrained, natural ability to know what’s best for your child.

Tip 1.  Routine.  By far the most important tip I can give you is to establish a good bedtime routine that you can stick to every night.  Babies love routine and predictability and this is easily the most important factor in establishing good sleeping habits.  You can read more about this here:   Setting a Routine

Tip 2.  The Dream Feed.  This technique is useful for young babies who still wake several times a night out of hunger.  The idea is to go into the baby’s room just before you go to sleep yourselves and perform a dream feed that will ‘tank him up’ which should buy you an extra couple of hours of sleep.  The trick is obviously to get him to feed without waking up!  Most parents report that it usually takes their baby a couple of nights to learn to feed whilst still asleep but most of them do learn eventually.  Try to make as little noise as possible and use the landing light to provide enough visibility to see what you’re doing without having to turn the lights on in his room.  Add a drop of milk to his lips and he’ll taste it and probably open his mouth.  At this point you can try beginning bottle or breast feeding.  Obviously pick him up very gently and put him back down as soon as you’re finished.  It might need a bit of ‘trial and error’ in the beginning to see how you can make this work without him waking.

Tip 3.  Naptimes. Make sure your baby is getting enough rest during the day with regular and consistent nap times.  If he sleeps well during the day, you are unlikely to have many problems at night time.  You can read more about nap times here:  Nap Times

Tip 4. Give them chance to learn on their own.  From about six to eight weeks, give your baby the chance to fall asleep on his own.  Put him down when he’s tired and sleepy but still awake.  Many experts advise against rocking or feeding baby to sleep, even at this young age, because they will learn habits that are hard to break later on.

Tip 5.  Security Objects.  A baby blanket or stuffed animal can be given to baby to help comfort them back to sleep when they awaken in the night.  A great tip is to rub the object on you so it has your scent which is very comforting to babies.  Obviously, ensure that the object is suitable for newborns and, if possible, buy one made of organic cotton as it’s the best material.  We have a selection of Keptin Jr organic cotton comforter toys for newborns which you can view here:  Soft Toys

Tip 6.  Controlled Crying.  This is the most controversial of all the techniques yet it can be very effective.  I’d advise you don’t attempt this under the age of six months and use it as a last resort.  We have a wealth of information on this topic including night by night accounts from parents who have tried it themselves.  Do a blog search for ‘Ferber Technique’ using our search box at the top right.

Tip 7.  Share the burden.  If it’s practical, get baby used to both care-givers by sharing the responsibility of putting him down and comforting him if he wakes. This tip is for the time when he no longer NEEDS feeding during the night.  In fact Dad can often enjoy better success of night time comforting in breast-feeding families as the baby will detect the scent of breast milk when mum comes to comfort him which will alert his stomach that it’s feeding time and therefore wake up time!  Again, this tip is not for use until the baby has reached the stage where he no longer needs his night time feeds but wakes to feed because of habit. (more…)



Controlled Crying – Nap times – Crying Down – Cosleeping

Thursday, August 28th, 2008
controlled-crying-nap-times-crying-down-cosleeping

We have covered Controlled Crying (also known as The Ferber Method) in some detail in previous posts.  However, following a recent comment on the site I thought an extra post was needed to discuss how nap times and co-sleeping fit in with the technique.

(more…)



The Ferber Method (Part Two)

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
the-ferber-method-part-two

Please read The Ferber Technique (part one) before attempting this technique.  As I discussed, this method should only be considered if your baby is healthy, well-fed and at least six months old.  Before starting this technique you have to be sure your baby is only crying because he wants something rather than that he actually he needs something.  If you suspect it might be the latter obviously give him everything he needs (a change, a feed etc).  Please note, I am not advocating the Ferber technique, I am simply letting you know the best way to go about it if you decide you want to give it a try. 

(more…)



Controlled Crying- the Ferber Technique Part One

Monday, August 4th, 2008
controlled-crying-the-ferber-technique-part-one

Dr Richard Ferber was the first to propose the idea of ‘controlled crying’ in 1985.  Since then it has taken on many names such as, cry it out, self-soothing, sleep training, crying down and many more.  Some techniques vary slightly in the details but they all work along the same basic principal as Ferber first proposed.

There are few baby-related issues that evoke as much controversy as this one.  Some big names in the field frequently have fiery exchanges because of their conflicting points of view.  Many will remember Gina Ford and Dr Miriam Stoppard for example, who had a fierce debate on The Today Programme over the issue.  

(more…)