A few weeks ago, my husband and I started an adapted version of the Ferber method, where rather than put my son down in the room and let him cry for a bit then check on him periodically, we would stay in the room, encourage him to sleep, pat his back and even sing to him until he did in fact fall asleep. Now we share this room with Aidan, but his bedtime is 8:30 pm where as we get to stay up till later (yay adulthood).
For the first few days, it was anguish. He fussed, fought and then after what seemed like an eternity, finally fell asleep. Now I feel like we’ve gone from one bad habit to another. Let me explain. Before the Ferber method, we would rock, walk or do whatever it took to put Aidan to sleep, including holding him while he slept and then trying to put him down gently (if he’d let us). Now instead of him being independent, he wants us to pat, sing and sit with him until he finally dains to go to sleep. I feel like we’ve regressed completely.
I can’t bear to hear him cry and fuss (although I know it’s more of a manipulation thing), but at the same time, sitting with him for 30 + minutes is not ok. We check on him and make sure he’s fed, safe, changed etc etc (using the checklist), but now I’m at a loss as to what it’s going to take to fix the problem.
This kid has enormous energy, even though I know he’s tired and exhibits the signs of fatigue. He can fuss for more than an hour until he finally gets exhausted enough to fall asleep.
I’m looking for tactics to undo what I’ve done wrong and truly train him on falling asleep independently. Nap-time is a whole ‘nother problem that I won’t even go into in this post!
